missed: (319)
louis de pointe du lac ([personal profile] missed) wrote in [personal profile] pronounce 2024-07-04 11:22 pm (UTC)

cw: talk of self harm/suicide

How is it a gift, exactly? Endless night, endless days, the loneliest existence I could imagine. Vampires living hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years with no reprieve. Story goes most throw themselves into the fire, walk out into the sun, anything to stop existence for a mere minute. So maybe you didn't create this cascading problem, but you didn't prevent it.

I didn't choose this. I didn't know what was being offered to me. It's not my nature, not who I am. Maybe what I need - since I've been built like this. I need the blood now to survive. Rats, rabbits, squirrels. I'm lucky at home to have those who offer willingly, but the guilt.

How do you reckon I'm supposed to hand you my guilt? My dirty, bloody part in your mistake? I blamed the devil plenty growing up - was told my whole life he'd be at my heels. No one told me he had a pretty face and played cards dirty - might have prevented this mess all along.


[ it wouldn't have. there would always be lestat, new orelans, the church, god's rebuke, the eternal darkness. nothing would have changed. ]

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